What’s your real age?

I must say that this doesn’t surprise me in the least.  I mean let’s face it, I am overweight and unfit.  In fact I actually thought the number would be higher.  A lot higher.

Each month I am going to keep asking Dr. Oz what my real age is, in the hope that this number decreases over time – a little like my weight-tracking number from Weight Watchers.

You can take your own test here.

25 facts about women around the world

I recently came across this wonderful post titled “25 Fast Facts About Women Around the World” via Kelly at She-Power (from last year) and I really wanted to share it.  From her original post:

Here’s the 25 that got my attention and made the list.

1. 80% of the 50 million people around the world who are affected by violent conflicts, civil wars, disasters, and displacement are women and children

2. In 2004, 48.8% of the seats held in parliament in Rwanda were held by women. Contrast that to Cuba where 36% of the seats were held by women, and the USA, where 14.3 % of the seats were held by women. Saudi Arabia and the Solomon Islands are just two countries where there are no women in parliament (UNDP, Human Development Report 2004)

3. In 76 countries, less than half the eligible girls are enrolled in secondary school

4. Women own only 1% of the world’s land

5. Approximately three million women in the USA sport tattoos

6. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee

7. 43% of Australian marriages end in divorce. of those who remarry, 65% of them will divorce again. By the time you try for marriage number 3, your chance of getting divorced is about 75%

8. The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth

9. It is illegal to be a prostitute in Siena, Italy, if your name is Mary

10. In parts of Malaya, the women keep harems of men

11. The two highest IQ’s ever recorded (on a standard test) both belong to women

12. In Kenya where 38% of the farms are run by women, those women manage to harvest the same amount per hectare (2.47 acres) as men, despite men having greater access to loans, advice, fertilizers, hybrid seeds, insecticides. And when women were given the same level of help, they were found to be more efficient than men, and produced bigger harvests

13. Over half a million women die in childbirth every year in Africa and Asia

14. Nearly 1/2 of all Indonesian women have had their first child by the time they are 17

15. In the USA, unintended pregnancies account for almost half of all pregnancies

16. According to The World Health Org., 40 per cent of girls aged 17 or under in South Africa are reported to have been the victim of rape or attempted rape

17. In Sweden, 76% of mothers work, the highest percentage in the developed world

18. Australia, New Zealand and the US are among a handful of governments that do not require women to be paid some form of maternity leave. In countries as diverse as Russia, Colombia, Laos and Morocco, the government foots the entire bill for three to six months of maternity leave

19. By age 55, 95% of all U.S. women have married

20. In 2007 the world’s richest self-made woman was Ms Zhang Yin, a Chinese paper recycling entrepreneur

21. Only 5% of Hollywood feature films are directed by women

22. Today, Japan leads the world in condom use. Like cosmetics, they’re sold door to door, by women

23. Seventy percent of women would rather have chocolate than sex (Poll taken in a 1995 women’s magazine)

24. Australian women have sex on the first date more than women the same age in the USA and Canada

25. China is considered the next big marketing opportunity for the tobacco industry because only 3.8% of Chinese women smoke, compared with 63 % of adult males

When you research the state of women around the world, I am sad to say that finding inspiring facts and figures is difficult.

We may look around at progress in developed countries and feel women are better off than they’ve ever been, but we are such a minority. The story is completely different for much of the world’s women, who are suffering from the same persecution, and deplorable health and living conditions that they’ve endured for centuries. I’ll try to remember that the next time I’m complaining about my life.

Here I am worried about my weight, my looks, getting older and what I can next put in my mouth and then you read this.  We are so very lucky in our country to be able to make choices about our life.  Many women cannot, and like Kelly says, “I’ll try and remember that the next time I’m complaining about my life”.

Motivation to move

I have seriously been looking for motivation to move, and I think this might just be it.  I really don’t want to do it alone so many emails will be sent to friends asking them if they would like to join me.  I never buy the newspaper and today I had to for work and BANG – there it was.

Again I feel the universe is trying to tell me something.  Anyone out there like to join me?

Oh no…..

Yep.  That’s right.  I have, over the past 9 months, managed to stack on an impressive 7.5kgs.  Again I will say it’s the heaviest I have been in my life.  Ever.

To say it came as a complete shock was an understatement, but I must say that now I actually know the truth, I can start from here.  I had been avoiding the scales for a good nine months.  Now that I am back on Weight Watchers I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to stand on that horrific little machine as it blasted out numbers I didn’t want to hear.

I am so good at hiding my weight with clothing that I thought I was at least 10kgs lighter.

My weight issues have been with me since I can remember.  I always felt like the biggest person in the class:  the fattest person.  Looking back on photographs I wasn’t at all.  This feeling did, however, lurk with me during my 20’s and 30’s manifesting in me always buying clothes that were at least 2 sizes too big.  A classic case of body dysmorphia.

Now I think I look 2 sizes smaller than I actually am and it’s scared me beyond belief.

Another way of the universe telling me it’s time to look after myself.  Dear universe, you have been heard.

WW First Day (again…)

Well, yesterday, apart from feeling like crap all day was a good one.  I received some excellent support from the Weight Watchers forums about my taking Reductil.  I also received enough encouragement that I managed to eat under my points value by 3.  WOW.

I felt better when I woke up this morning.  I even made a huge chopped salad with 2 tbs of sunflower seeds for lunch.

As you can see, I have a thing for English muffins.  LOVE THEM!

Hungry

I just came across this book and it’s a must have for me.  Some of the reviews on Amazon include:

“An eye-opening tale for all women, Hungry explores the difference between the fantasy that society projects and the reality of what makes us happy. Crystal Renn’s experience debunks the modern-day Cinderella story of the fat girl who loses weight to get happy. This is a new fairy tale, one in which a young woman embraces the size she’s supposed to be and the world opens up for her.” — Lori Gottlieb, author of Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self

“Crystal Renn is a high-spirited, convincing spokesperson for broadening our notions of beauty. Hungry adds a unique twist to a growing women’s chorus: even if you are young and beautiful, as Renn is, it’s best to give up the addiction to slimness for the sake of personal authenticity, social relations, intimacy, and sexual pleasure.” — Joan Jacobs Brumberg, author of The Body Project and Fasting Girls

“Hungry offers an intelligent and intimate look inside the modeling industry and into Crystal Renn’s heart. Renn’s epiphany — that she didn’t have to be a size 0 to find success and happiness — serves as a more powerful portrait of strength and beauty than anything a camera could capture.” — Wendy Shanker, author of The Fat Girl’s Guide to Life

I promise to write my own review after I get it into my hand.  You can buy it online here.

I can’t take it anymore

Seriously I can’t.  I have never in my life felt so out-of-control.

This morning it dawned on me.  I have little or no respect for my body or my health.  I am 43 now.  It’s not going to get any easier.  Just harder.

I know I’ve written it here before, but THIS IS IT.  It’s not just the fact that I cannot fit into anything I own hanging in my closet (well maybe 10% of it), it’s the fact that I feel like crap.  I find it so hard to get to sleep, to stay asleep.  I find it even harder to wake up and I am tired all day long.  Don’t get me started on the unbearable period pain that, because of my weight, is now with me a good week solid before and a couple of days after.

I remember looking great and having so much energy in my 30’s.  I cared about myself and how I felt.  I was proud of how I looked and that rippled across all areas of my life.

I want that back – but the 43-year-old version.  I need to keep it real.

I tried Lite n’ Easy but was incredibly disappointed with the lack of support they offer customers.  In fact I had written to them on numerous occasions (as well as called) and they didn’t even have the courtesy of calling or writing back.  I was spending over $170 on food each week and NOTHING.

As some of you know, I work in marketing, and this is one of the biggest mistakes a company can make.  Not responding to the people that buy their products.  Sad and disappointing.  They have lost me as a customer and someone who has an audience of likeminded people I correspond with on a daily basis via the numerous social media tools I use.

But I digress.  I have now enlisted the help of a doctor.  She is great and understands that a lot of what’s going on with me is mental.  We are going to work on it together.

For the next 30 days she has given me a prescription for Reductil a strong appetite suppressant.  I am hesitant to take any kind of drug, but I am at the end of trying to fight this fight.  I have to do something that will make a difference.

I have been taking it for about 5 days now and I don’t seem to have much of an appetite.  It’s a strange feeling. I don’t feel ‘elated’ like they say you might, but I do have some of the side effects like feeling hot and cold, rapid heart beat etc – but nothing too alarming.

I have also started to monitor my diet and weight again through Weight Watchers.  It’s been the only thing that’s worked for me in the past and I know the system inside out.

So here I go again – but this time I have enlisted the support of a medical professional.

Maybe this should go on the fridge instead?

The 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating

I just came across this wonderful site called “losing weight in the city” and was very much inspired by this post.  This is going on my fridge this very minute.

1. Reject the Diet Mentality
Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.

2. Honor Your Hunger
Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. Once you reach the moment of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderate, conscious eating are fleeting and irrelevant. Learning to honor this first biological signal sets the stage for re-building trust with yourself and food.

3. Make Peace with Food
Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing When you finally “give-in” to your forbidden food, eating will be experienced with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating, and overwhelming guilt.

4. Challenge the Food Police
Scream a loud “NO” to thoughts in your head that declare you’re “good” for eating under 1000 calories or “bad” because you ate a piece of chocolate cake. The Food Police monitor the unreasonable rules that dieting has created . The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loud speaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments. Chasing the Food Police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating.

5. Respect Your Fullness
Listen for the body signals that tell you that you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show that you’re comfortably full. Pause in the middle of a meal or food and ask yourself how the food tastes, and what is your current fullness level?

6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor
The Japanese have the wisdom to promote pleasure as one of their goals of healthy living In our fury to be thin and healthy, we often overlook one of the most basic gifts of existence—the pleasure and satisfaction that can be found in the eating experience. When you eat what you really want, in an environment that is inviting and conducive, the pleasure you derive will be a powerful force in helping you feel satisfied and content. By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes much less food to decide you’ve had “enough”.

7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food
Find ways to comfort , nurture, distract, and resolve your issues without using food. Anxiety, loneliness, boredom, anger are emotions we all experience throughout life. Each has its own trigger, and each has its own appeasement. Food won’t fix any of these feelings. It may comfort for the short term, distract from the pain, or even numb you into a food hangover. But food won’t solve the problem. If anything, eating for an emotional hunger will only make you feel worse in the long run. You’ll ultimately have to deal with the source of the emotion, as well as the discomfort of overeating.

8. Respect Your Body
Accept your genetic blueprint. Just as a person with a shoe size of eight would not expect to realistically squeeze into a size six, it is equally as futile (and uncomfortable) to have the same expectation with body size. But mostly, respect your body, so you can feel better about who you are. It’s hard to reject the diet mentality if you are unrealistic and overly critical about your body shape.

9. Exercise—Feel the Difference
Forget militant exercise. Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise. If you focus on how you feel from working out, such as energized, it can make the difference between rolling out of bed for a brisk morning walk or hitting the snooze alarm. If when you wake up, your only goal is to lose weight, it’s usually not a motivating factor in that moment of time.

10. Honor Your Health—Gentle Nutrition
Make food choices that honor your health and tastebuds while making you feel well. Remember that you don’t have to eat a perfect diet to be healthy. You will not suddenly get a nutrient deficiency or gain weight from one snack, one meal, or one day of eating. It’s what you eat consistently over time that matters, progress not perfection is what counts.

So here I go again

Yes yes here I go again.  I have decided to try and use the Lite N’ Easy plan for only breakfast and lunch.  I really love to eat a huge salad or veggies at night time so I think I will be ok in that respect.  It’s mainly during the day when there is food around that I tend to pick.

I am feeling quite positive this time.  I made a declaration to myself last night that I was not going to drink.  This is my biggest weakness.  I did it whilst I poured out a perfectly fine bottle of wine.  It was more symbolic than anything, but it was a line in the sand.  I need to make that commitment to my body and to myself.